PP 064: To My Friend Gosha | Don't Lose Sight of Why You Started
Losing Sight of Why You Started
Sometimes we get down on ourselves and lose our way. Today's episode is in response to an Instagram friend of mine named Gosha Bondarev. To wrap some context around this, Gosha is a young illustrator and letterer from Saint Petersburg, Russia who aspires to be a full-time freelancer. I've watched him amass a following over 20k followers in the 1-2 years.
While someone may have a large follower count, this doesn't always translate into confidence and happiness. With Gosha's permission, the following is a message he sent me reaching out for advice followed by my response.
Note: I decided to write out a more thoughtful response for this episode based on the raw audio file I sent him which you can listen to here.
Listen to the raw unedited audio response to Gosha
While I can't respond with audio to each person who sends me an email or message, I felt particularly called to respond to this one as it felt like my old self-talking through him.
I hope this wave of vulnerability and encouragement hits you when you need it most.
From Gosha
Hey man. Sorry if I am bothering you, but I need advice. I re-listened to episode #25 again because I wasn't able to do anything creative for the last month. After that, I felt like I should ask you.
The ugly truth is that I gave up, I started learning programming because it seems that I need some valuable skills to pay the bills. I have some pictures to post on Instagram from the last year but I'll run out of them soon and not sure what to do next.
I'm realizing that maybe four years of hustling is enough to understand this area isn't for me. I don't fit in here because I see what others are doing and how much more creative and interesting their stuff is. I feel I'm only progressing in using Instagram a little better but my drawing skills are on the same level as years go by.
I'd rather I realize it as soon as possible and try to apply myself in a different area. I asked a couple of friends from the creative industry and they tell me that, "If I'm not sure I want to do it than it's probably not for me."
I know that I should decide it by myself but I was hoping you'd have something to say.
To Gosha
Gosha, I'm glad you're able to be vulnerable and trust me not to judge you. What's funny is that I deal with this inner voice of doubt every day as I push the limits of my creative dream.
I feel sometimes we get to a point where we suffocate our dreams because we expect so much from ourselves. It causes us to not only lose sight of what we love doing in the first place but maybe miss the signs the universe is trying to guide us towards.
When I started Perspective-Collective almost 4 years ago, I had my heart set on becoming a full-time freelancer. I wanted financial freedom, time freedom and the bragging rights of working with the biggest names in the industry.
I saw people older and younger than me living out this dream. While I held and still hold a day job, it was hard to see past the $50 logo commissions people were willing to pay me. This slowly killed my freelance dreams.
However, I'm lucky that somehow I caught a sign from the universe and I began blogging. I've mentioned this before but blogging radically changed things in my career, even though my blog never blew up.
As I've made progress, this new path created new challenges and provides new waves of negative thoughts. I'm most envious of people like Andy J. Miller who hosts an incredible podcast for creatives as he has seemed to find his voice and unique artistic style. Not to mention his client list speaks for itself, but Andy has probably dealt with these same struggles finding his way.
I realize these moments of doubt and comparison are normal. Yet dwelling in them suffocates the passion making me forget why I do this in the first place.
I do this because I fucking love to create and I am passionate about pushing people to find their best creative selves. It's the coach in me that has lived on after football.
So I ask you, why did you pursue art in the first place?
Did you put pencil to paper in the beginning to land a client?
I highly doubt it.
You're incredibly talented, young and full of potential. It seems from my perspective that you're putting so much pressure on yourself to have each post land you a client that you're killing the fun.
Who knows, maybe you need a small break from art just to refresh and refocus. This is totally okay and it's totally normal. Maybe take a month off to pursue other interests.
Whatever you do, I feel very strongly that you'd regret quitting when you're on your deathbed. You have too much talent to throw in the towel and honestly, I'd be disappointed in you for wasting your gift.
“You never know who you could've impacted with that next post that
was never published.
If you're like me, you enjoyed Instagram in the beginning because you loved creating and you posted because it meant something to you. You created and shared because you found joy in it.
Somehow things shifted. We now post because we need the engagement, affirmation or job inquiries to feel worthwhile and purposeful as an artist.
Maybe you do need a day job like programming that can pay the bills. I rock a day job and while it makes me discredit myself sometimes, I know it's fueling the means to pursue Perspective-Collective without the financial stress.
I should note, don't just get a job in a field because it'll net you the most money. Usually, that comes at a cost of killing the passion and adding more pressure. Get a job delivering pizza if it means you can still come home and find time and enjoyment in creating.
A Plan of Attack
When you do find your groove again and want to attract clients, here's a few things I'd do differently.
First off, have a legit website that is a hub for all Gosha on why they should hire you. Show off your personality and show the work you want to attract. Right now, Behance and Instagram are your tools but you need a home base that doesn't rely on a social platform as you are playing by there rules.
Next, maybe do some type of outreach. It may be uncomfortable but hit people up locally that could use your services and offer them out pro bono at first. I did my first 3 murals for free before I attracted paid gigs. It sucked but it was worth it in the long run.
Make sure to document the process from beginning to end. Not only should you share it on your social platforms but take it another step further and create case studies on your site. This will allow future clients to see your process and how you get an end result.
Finally, always remember that the inner critic is going to attempt to convince you that you don't have what it takes. Other people may agree with the critic and tell you maybe this isn't for you. I say fuck 'em.
I have to talk myself off the edge from quitting all the time. It's all apart of taking the shit in stride which makes you appreciate the sunny days when things go right.
You certainly have what it takes and you've barely scratched the surface of what you'll accomplish down the road.
Maybe full-time freelance isn't in the cards for you like it's not in the cards for me anytime soon? That's totally okay.
Don't let the inner critic block you from seeing the signs the universe could be sending you.
Whatever you do, don't forget why you began creating in the first place as that's what matters most.
-
Much love from Iowa,
Scotty
Shownotes
Episode 25: Dealing With Creative Funks & Feeling Invisible
Episode 58: Appreciate the Shit and Sunshine - 12 Lessons Learned in 2017
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CREDITS
Music - Blookah
Executive Assistant - Paige Garland
Photo & Video Specialist - Colton Bachar
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