How Bad & Good Selfishness Affects Your Creative Success
Clarity, Confidence, & connecting with Your Creative Work
This Fall, I’m dishing out a 6-week Instagram Live Training + Blog Post series around the topic of “Finding Clarity & Confidence in Your Creative Work.”
This theme will scale each week setting you up to take the next step and thrive going into the upcoming Q4 3-Week Boot Camp. (Saturday, Oct. 29th - Friday, Nov. 18th) 🗓
In this 21-day group coaching workshop, you’ll learn how to Confidently Promote You, Your Work, + Your Value!
Note: Click the image to watch the replay. Continue below to read the blog.
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Be More Selfish
You're not being selfish enough…
For real, be MORE selfish.
I truly believe you have to be more selfish with your time, energy, commitments, and your dreams, overall.
In order to understand why people should care about what you do…
You should have a deep understanding of why you care about what you do!
Hear me out though, as I believe there are BAD and GOOD scenarios of selfishness in regard to one’s creative pursuits.
In picking up from last week’s session on embarking on a selfish season of creating for yourself…
I had a couple of questions on the difference between GOOD and BAD selfishness.
Most people want the bad news first before the good, right?
Let’s first talk about the BAD selfish scenarios before we pivot to the GOOD stuff.
BAD Selfish Behavior
I understand the words GOOD and BAD are subjective, so interpret what I say as you’d like.
I’m all for making oneself a top priority if it’s coming from a “good” place.
But a lot of creatives I observe and chat with have intentions stemming from a “bad” place of a scarcity mindset, lack, entitlement, and ego.
(This used to be me.)
This leads to being unfulfilled with their work as they:
Create for the wrong reasons (like only focusing on pursuing profits).
View everyone as competition—not enough room at the table for everyone to eat.
Obsess over surface-level vanity metrics out of their control.
They often selfishly show up and create to feed their egos and/or cut corners.
I also notice that pursuing one’s work from a “bad” place of intent can often lead to the following negative selfish traits.
Negative Symptoms
Here are some specific symptoms that scream BAD selfish behavior:
Taker mentality—Constantly asking but never giving.
Narcissism—An exaggerated sense of self-importance.
Starving ego—Taking advantage of others’ circumstances to fuel best interests.
Entitlement—Expecting results that haven’t been earned.
Time thief—Constantly holding other people’s time hostage
BAD selfish behavior doesn’t set up a foundation to thrive long-term.
It’s a house of cards approach that can crumble at any instant—it lacks authenticity and depth.
In my opinion, it’s missing the true human element that connects people to you, your story, your work, and your vision.
It’s hard for others to care and be invested when you only clearly care about yourself.
Now that we’ve navigated this Negative Nancy angle…
Let’s pivot to being a Positive Patty and propose what GOOD selfish behavior looks like.
GOOD Selfish Behavior
Common sense would say everything opposite of what we just talked about falls into this bucket.
Let’s break this down further to pinpoint areas we may need to nurture more.
The GOOD selfishness I’m talking about will allow you to tap into your gift sooner.
That way, you can selflessly give it away making a positive impact on as many people as possible.
This type of selfishness equips you with the tools to:
Position yourself as a creative professional.
Create more structure and clarity around your daily routine.
Rapidly gain traction and see measurable progress.
Tap into work that truly lights you up.
Find purpose and fulfillment in your craft.
This type of individual clearly has their priorities dialed in and takes themselves seriously—versus operating like hobbyists.
When making moves from the mindset of creating with “good” intent, it can often lead to these positive selfish traits.
Positive Symptoms
Here are some specific symptoms that radiate GOOD selfish behavior:
Prioritize self-care—You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Make sure you put your own oxygen mask on before helping others.
Say NO—Understand the right people to disappoint.
Being selfish with your dream is GOING to offend someone but remember:
You can’t be everything to everyone.
Take care of yourself (put your oxygen mask on first).
Don’t burn out for others who wouldn't burn a candle for you.
Self-respect—You hold yourself accountable and follow through.
Here’s a Self-Respect Checklist:
Follow through on your commitments/deadlines.
Show up when it’s hard/inconvenient.
Take full responsibility for everything that happens in your life.
Boundaries—You create boundaries for yourself and others.
Time mindfulness—You don’t give your time away to those who don’t value it.
All of these positive selfish behavior traits are will lay the foundation for a thriving, and fulfilling long-term creative career.
No One Cares As Much As You
To recap, there’s a big difference between BAD and GOOD selfish behavior.
BAD selfishness from my experience is rooted in both the ego and wanting to cut corners.
GOOD selfishness comes from a professional mindset with an emphasis on self-care.
No one is living your life…
And no one will care about your dream as much as you do…
So practicing GOOD selfishness can help you tap into your peak potential and purpose with your creative pursuits.
You owe it to yourself and others, so you can selflessly give your gift away.
Be MORE selfish, in a GOOD way.
Keep showing, keep putting in the work, and keep creating—YOU GOT THIS! ✌🏻🍕
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