How to Break Bad Habits

We are creatures of habit, yet we are the driving force behind all of our decisions. Are you aware of the decisions you are making on a day-in day-out basis?

Self-awareness is the catalyst to self-discipline. When you increase awareness, you will realize the changes you need to make in life. You must also be aware of the consequences of our undisciplined behaviors.

We live in a world where people expect instant gratification for minimal or no work at all. I’m betting you are reading this because you know this false advertising isn’t going to get you to where you want to be. You may be aware, but what are the first steps towards making changes in your life?

First things first are knowing:

what you want
why you want it
how to attain it

Sounds easy right?

Last week I discussed the benefits of self-discipline over time and how visualizing long term goals keeps you on track.

This week is about integrating self-discipline into your regime while becoming a more effective self-manager who knows how to get what he or she wants.

I will share 4 steps for igniting change by adding these disciplinary tactics into your daily hustle:

Know what you want
Determine your reasons
Acknowledge the difficulties
Develop new behaviors

1. Know What You Want

What is that one thing you really want to accomplish in life?

Do you desire the freedom to work from home doing freelance?
Do you want to run a successful business or ecommerce platform?
Do you want to get in shape for personal reasons or health issues?
Do you simply just want to live a happier, more fulfilled life?

You have to narrow in on what you want and the way to do this is by setting S.M.A.R.T. goals.

I’ve covered this in past posts but setting goals is so fundamentally important to getting anywhere you want to be in life that it continues to apply to the topics at hand.

They say it takes 7 times to remember something so I’ll keep hammering this home.

A S.M.A.R.T. goal is one that is clearly Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-Bound.

If we were to apply this to the above fore mentioned freelancing scenario, this is what it could look like.

Specific: The overall goal is to be a self-sufficient, full time freelance artist whose financial burdens are covered by making $X amount of commission per month with X amount of clients.

Measurable: Determine how much you will need to save before you can make the leap. You need to figure in your cost of living and analyze your current clientele situation. How many clients will you need based upon the value you are charging for your services. How will you be able to track your progress?

Attainable: You must set overhead amounts that you will need to meet each month for bills. You’ll filter that into your value based pricing and how many clients you can afford to take on without over committing. What will it take to make this goal achievable?

Realistic: You may realize you need to save some more money or have more clients before you make the move. You have to have a process in place and structure set for your business. This means a client filtering process, questionnaires, case studies, contracts and agreements, etc. all need to be prepared. Within your controls, how can you make this possible?

Time-Bound: How soon are you able to take action? Dictate a timeline each month that has a strategic plan of action of how you can make this a reality. Set an overall launch date where you finalize your process and build up financial resources so you can make the final move.

Setting the S.M.A.R.T. goals is the first step to focus on what you want. Next you need to understand why you are wanting it at the core of your values and principles.

2. Determine Your Reasons

Your why is the driving force of self-awareness and self-discipline.

Why do you want this goal so badly?

Why is it important to you?

When you understand the reasons why you want this goal, you’ll be able to recall why you are doing this in the first place.

Going back to the example of becoming a full time freelancer. Why would you want this in the first place?

Is it because you want to get out of the corporate scene?
You want to work for yourself and determine your own schedule?
Do you enjoy having the authority to pick which projects you want to take on?
Are you fulfilled with bringing other people’s ideas to life?
Is it your form of serving others while finding your vocation?

Your reasons are your ammunition and fire power when you are having that inner struggle and lapse of judgement with your decisions making. This is your leverage and what is going to keep you in the game.

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” - Goethe

You’ve got your wants and your whys, now you need to determine the things that may stand in your way.

3. Acknowledge the Difficulties

You will battle plenty of resistance in your journey to improve your circumstances. You must be prepared so you know how to react, especially if your lack of discipline is causing negative consequences.

We all struggle with temptations. Chances are you are like me and struggle with certain areas of your life and give into these temptations a little too easily.

Temptations are distractions which create obstacles in your journey. Recognizing these temptations is the first step to overcoming them.

What are some temptations that are distracting you from reaching your goals?

Mindless scrolling through social media?
Hitting the snooze button?
Gluttony and gorging on food for comfort?
Binging on Youtube videos or Netflix?
Hours of playing video games?

I’m guilty of all the above at one time or another and my tempations impede on my wants.

The two major wants in my life are based on: a career goal and a fitness / health goal.

My career want is to be a creative entrepreneur who makes a living off teaching and selling my art while supporting my wife and future family. I also am a fitness junky who has always visualized having the body of my dreams. I “want” to attain that perfect image of myself that I've had in my head for so long.

To be completely transparent with you, I give into temptations every day. These temptations either stall or hold me back from fully reaching my wants.

Most days I do a good job of disciplining myself from mindless use of my phone. However, when I’m close to reaching milestones, getting features or having some strong engagement with some of my work, I default into an addicted scroller. I'm no where near as bad I as I used to be but again it's hard sometimes to not live in the moment of affirmation. It gives you the sense that all that effort you put into something was worth it when people are resonating with your work.

The more we scroll the less we create. In vice versa, the less we scroll the more we create.

When I’m aimlessly scrolling for self-validation or worried about other peoples lives, I’m missing opportunities to create or indulge in self-help consumption. I’m missing opportunities that I could be getting better and edging closer towards reaching my goal.

My second weakness is my eating habits. I grew up a pretty overweight kid who got picked on maliciously. At an early age, I was stripped of my confidence and lacked an ounce of self-esteem. Looking in the mirror disgusted me and I begin to tell myself I deserved the way I was being treated.

I was not aware of what I was putting in my body and never understood why I looked the way I did as I was sucking down 2 liters of Mt. Dew and smashing bags of Doritos. Granted I was a kid and was not knowledgeable of my choices.

At the age of 27, I’m extremely active and am a bit of a gym rat. Exercising is just a thing I do now. I have no issues of being disciplined when it falls on the working out spectrum of being healthy. I love the way it makes me feel and you can’t argue with results of squatting and dead lifts. However the eating healthy spectrum is another story.

I feel really dumb saying this, but I desire that 6 pack that I see all over fitness magazine and YouTube channels. I want to be ripped. I tell myself that this is when I will finally find fulfillment with my body image yet I make so many bad decisions which prohibit this goal.

I am a pizza and chip junky. Not to mention I love ketchup. Why can’t these be healthy?

I can’t use the excuse anymore of being un-educated with my eating decisions. I have the power to choose what I fuel my body with and am aware of the consequences of my bad decisions. It's a really slow progression and each year I'm consistently getting more disciplined.

I still have a long ways to go to reach my goal but I'm getting better on breaking those bad habits.

4. Breaking Bad Habits

It’s time to start making some changes. Changes that will make long term lasting effects as results don’t just happen overnight

In order to break these bad habits we need to cut our temptations and start filtering in productive habits in our routine.

The ways I cut temptations are by:

Forced discipline
Surrounding myself with the right crowd
Scheduling my success

Forced Discipline

Forced discipline means manually removing all distractions that you’ve identified. They are small conscious decisions that will make a big difference as you continue to practice them.

One thing I made sure to do was to put both my phone and laptop on Do Not Disturb Mode. I set it from 10:00 PM to 6:30 AM. 10:00 PM is the time that I am winding down for the night and clearing my head. 6:30 AM is the perfect time in the morning as I’ve already put in 2 hours of work on things that matter most to me, such as writing this blog.

I also turn off all push-notifications. That is the quickest way to eliminate over half of your distractions in a day and hands down the best decisions I've ever made.

Other ways I’ve heard of people combatting their distractions is by putting their phones on airplane mode or leaving it in separate rooms while they work or sleep at night.

Control your temptations so they don’t control you.

On the extreme end, I’ve heard of others deleting all unnecessary apps for social networks and utilizing one or two and using them strictly for posting. They will then immediately delete the app as to not be tempted to check the analytics while only downloading the app again when they have something else to post.

Others may get rid of cable or keep a t.v. out of their office. Some others may unplug completely and seek nature where technology and distractions can’t bug them in order to do their work in peace.

Experiment and find what words for you!

Surround Yourself With the Right Crowd

This is something your parents probably told you growing up but we were all too naive to understand.

I definitely understand the reasoning now.

We are the sum of the 5 influences we surround ourself with the most.

Ask yourself, “Am I hanging around the right crowd of people that will support me in my goals and not serve as distractions?”

There was a good stretch in my life that I was with the wrong crowd and it was evident in my actions and performance. I was too wrapped up in doing the wrong thing and walking the line between getting in trouble and getting out of sticky situations.

Being on the verge of paranoia and getting distracted from making progress wasn’t working out well for me so I made some changes and broke ties with that crowd. Most of them have been in and out of jail a few times now.

I’d say I made the right choice.

Surrounding yourself with people who are on the same level or above you is the influencing circle you want to latch onto. You can grow with these people and soak up the value and insight they have to share.

This is why I joined the Seanwes Community in May 2015. The community is filled with like minded individuals who are either below, on the same, or above me in terms of levels. I’m surrounded by creative entrepreneurs who are there to ask questions and give advice 24/7, 365 in the chat room, forums or even live podcast streams.

Not to mention you will get direct help from Sean McCabe and his employees. Seriously, joining the community has changed my life and has given me so much direction as I continue with more confidence as I pursue my career wants. Plus you build some pretty awesome relationships too.

If you’re in a spot where you don’t have people around you to seek guidance and no one understands what you’re trying to accomplish, I seriously recommend looking into joining the community. Contact me personally if you’d like to learn more.

Schedule Your Success

I’ve said it before but what gets scheduled gets done.

If you’re living your life on to-do lists which eventually turn into wishful get-done lists, then you need to switch it up.

I’m far from being a super, organized person who lives off a planner that is glued to my hip. However, those people seem to be the ones getting the most done.

I approach scheduling differently and the results I’ve seen are incredible.

I have a 4 month white board calendar in my office that I write everything going on in my life. This is also where I set deadlines for when I want to accomplish personal goals; such as launching my eCommerce shop December 1st. :)

Everyday I can check it and be aware of what’s going on today, tomorrow, next week, and next month, I am preparing myself for success.

I also keep a list on another white board of 8-12 goals I want to accomplish going into every month. These are measureable goals that help me track my growth and reassure myself that I'm moving forward.

It’s extremely satisfying to cross these off as the month progresses.

Finally, every day I write 3–4 things that need to get done that day on a post-it note and I carry it with me everywhere I go. This is great because you can really only fit so much onto a post-it note and it’s not as overwhelming as keeping a list of 10–15 things to get done.

When you barely make a dent on your long list it becomes defeating and turns into a wishful get-done list. Months can go by before you actually complete them.

Finally I’ve developed a blossoming relationship with Siri. I’m always setting reminders on my iPhone which keeps me accountable on my daily post-it note list.

It’s Time To Change

Being an effective self-manager is difficult as we have acquired these bad habits over time and quitting cold turkey with anything is a challenge.

Your self-discipline comes from within and it all is determined by how badly you want something. When you seriously want something, you won’t look for excuses and you will have leverage as you can remind yourself why you’re doing this in the first place.

Key Takeaways

Figure out your Want, Why and How
Set S.M.A.R.T. goals to determine your Want
Your Why will provide you leverage
Be prepared so you know how to react
Identify temptations
Eliminate Distractions
Control your temptations so they don’t control you

Figure out what is stopping you from showing up. Understand that will power is just a choice, a choice that we can all control.

You are not a victim of your circumstances. You are the creative force behind your life and breaking your bad habits and filtering in good ones will help you reach your goals. Once you determine your game plan, you need to figure out what is working so you can do more of it. We will cover doing more of what works more in depth next week.

I challenge you this week to write down your Want, Why and How. These can evolve over time as you gain more clarity, however, this is a starting point to breaking your bad habits.

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