How To Win The Battle Over Jealousy
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The Inner Struggle Of Appreciating Yourself
At this very moment, you are secretly wishing that you had something that someone else has.You play the victim of your circumstances. Surely it’s not your fault that you are being punished with misfortune.I say this because I experience these same struggles, yet we don't have to feel this way.There are days where I wish I had 100K followers on Instagram, a successful eCommerce shop that generated a passive income, 10K newsletter sign ups, no student loan debt, a brand new car, a brand new camera and laptop, etc. These are things I tend to envy that others have and the list could keep going but I’m not here to talk about my wants.I’m here to talk about how my self-awareness helps me battle this self-defeating mindset.We are only human and I feel it’s natural to have feelings of jealousy and envy from time to time. However, we must become aware of these feelings and have the ammunition to fight the urges of feeling like a victim of our circumstances.I recently had a member in my audience ask me how I deal with jealousy towards successful people in my field of work. It took me a bit to reflect on my approach but I feel I have a built a solid plan of attack.To equip your mind to battle jealousy, I found the best solutions are to:
Surround yourself with those you’re jealous of
Focus on what you can control
Stay in a state of gratitude
Having these 3 weapons in my arsenal help me win the daily battle over jealousy.
1. Surround Yourself With Those You’re Jealous Of
It may sound strange but in order to overcome the jealousy I have towards someone in my field of work, I attach myself closer to them. The goal is to expand my circle of influence to create more room for growth.Surrounding myself with people who are where I want to be promotes opportunity to soak up their knowledge and connect with them directly or through their audience.Instead of letting my jealousy take control and resenting these individuals, I’m trying to use them as a resource so I can level up.A prime example I’ve experienced this is with the seanwes community. I’ve been an avid fan of Sean McCabe for almost 2 years. Seeing his success in hand lettering and business has taken a toll on me in multiple ways.I’ve been inspired and have seen significant growth in applying his teachings, yet I’ve been overcome with envy at times as I wish I had the time, knowledge and resources he has at his disposal.I have moments of resentment because I play the victim of my circumstances, which overshadows the acknowledgement that he’s poured his heart and soul to get to where he is today.One day it dawned on me that in order to get to where he is, I needed to surround myself with his community as I hear he directly helps those who have joined. As soon as I could, I paid the small fee to access the community and it’s been the best decision I’ve ever made in my tenure as Perspective-Collective.Not only do I have direct access to my mentor with pressing issues, but the people in the community are there to support me as well. It’s a global group of like-minded individuals who are on levels below, the same or above me. The advice, encouragement and direction I receive on a daily basis has easily helped me pay for the membership fee.It’s a great example of surrounding yourself with the people you are jealous of. It’s the best way to attain their knowledge and best practices while applying them to your goals and plan of action. Not to mention the relationships you build with these people over time.Surrounding myself with these individuals has eliminated any traces of envy and resentment from my mind.
2. Focus On What You Can Control
One of the most important things I’ve been practicing in my life is focusing on the things I can control and letting go of the things I can’t.You can’t control all of your circumstances, yet when you have moments of jealousy towards someone, you can control how you respond.It’s easy to resent them and fixate ways of how they have lucked into their successes. It’s harder yet far more rewarding to be happy for them and find ways you can attain the same success.My focus isn’t on making money, but I do realize that in order to make my dream become a reality of pursuing what I love full-time, I need to generate an income.I find myself envious of several artists because they run successful online businesses that create a passive income. This allows them to make a living teaching workshops and public speaking, which provides more sources of income.They are doing what they love by sharing knowledge, resonating with their audiences and building relationships. This translates into sales and financial stability.Who wouldn’t want this life?Instead of drowning in my own jealousy and self-pity, I choose to control my emotions and create a plan of action so I too can achieve this lifestyle and stability.In order to achieve this dream of creating an online revenue stream of products sales, I need to layout a game plan that has short term, measurable goals that keep me aligned to my long-term vision.In order to run a successful shop I need to understand many challenging aspects:Marketing and Target AudienceUnderstand whom I am trying to reach and if I’m selling something that is “Solving a Problem” or if it is a “Nice to Have”. Both products need a different approach in order to be successful.Building an eCommerce platformUnderstand the proper way to build an eCommerce platform that creates a smooth, pleasant user experience from browsing my shop, placing an order, receiving the shipment and opening the package.Creating a ProcessMastering the process of inventory, packaging, branding, shipping and customer service in order to create customer loyalty. By creating a process checklist through research, action, trial and error, I can take the necessary steps of generating an income by supplying products that bring value to my customer’s life.It sounds like a lot and is very intimidating to me. However, my goal is to start off with one product that tells a story so I can put all my focus into one thing that someone can have a great experience with.You have to start somewhere. Just starting is making progress.
3. Being in a State of Gratitude
How many times do you take a moment to count your blessings?When we lose control of our emotions and let jealousy overtake us, we lose sight of our blessings as we long for what someone else has.This is where I’ve learned the power of reflection.As soon as I catch a wave of envy and feel sorry for myself, I am quickly reminded that I should be thankful for where I'm at and what I have in life as many are not as fortunate.Think of all the people that would love to be in your shoes. As you gawk over what others have, you forget that there is someone out there who has much less than you do.There are people out there who can’t afford pencils, paper, vehicle transportation, food, clean water, shelter, etc.Just the other day my cat was drinking out of the faucet as she normally does and I recalled when I was in the Dominican Republic. You had to use bottled water for everything because the tap water was not safe to drink. Could you imagine not being able to go to your faucet for a drink because you were thirsty? It really put things in perspective and made me appreciate the luxury we have in the United States.Who am I to get wrapped up in my jealousy when I have access to all of these things?God has blessed me with so many talents and has allowed me to achieve many successful milestones. I constantly find myself telling Him thank you.Upon reflection, life seems pretty good. It takes a moment of finding clarity to realize that you have more going on for you than you realize.
You Have The Ammunition
The aforementioned tools in my arsenal help me overcome my daily battles with envy and jealous. They have allowed me to experience significant growth in my journey.As I continue to see growth, I become enlightened with the reasons I am creating and doing what I do in the first place.I understand that my work is different and unique from my idols or acquaintances.I accept what makes my work special because it comes from my soul and is directed towards helping others who deal with the same struggles I'm battling against.I accept who I am, what I have and where I am going in life.
Key Takeaways:
Attach yourself to those you’re jealous of
Expanding your circle of influence generates growth
We are capable of controlling how we respond to jealous urges
We can respond by controlling emotions and creating a plan of action
Jealousy blinds us from our many blessings
Gratitude puts things in perspective
Your work is unique compared to your idols
This week I challenge you to determine who you are most jealous of and why?
Do you resent this person for their successes?
Is it someone you can reach out and ask questions to?
Do they have an audience you can follow and soak up knowledge?
Understand your jealousy and use it towards your advantage.It’s easy to play the victim and long for what others have, but you are in control and have the ability of getting whatever you want out of life.Stop throwing a pity party and take control of your situation. You have a lot more going on for you than you realize.-If you have found value in this post, you can share this or join my weekly newsletter. As a member, you have direct access to me for questions and advice. Your input will allow me to keep these post focused solely on delivering you value on the pressing issues you struggle with the most. My mission is to help and grow along with you.