The Key to Audience Building: Stop Caring What Others Think

Sep 30

Lions Don’t Lose Sleep Over the Opinions of Sheep

Somedays I feel people may think what I am doing is cheesy. I tell myself that maybe this is all an act.I ask myself from time to time if I’m an imposter? Will people approve and embrace what I’m trying to accomplish?I proceed to remind myself that I’m doing this because I believe in who I am and what I’m doing. I don’t concern myself with the opinions of others because the ones who care about what I’m doing are the ones that matter.

“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” - Vernon Howard

It's a simple yet complex question, why do we care so much about what others think of us and our work?I used to be in the people pleasing business. I was subconsciously seeking acceptance and approval in all of my pursuits.I cared too much of what people thought of me and needed everyone to like me and the work I was creating. Any ounce of affirmation I would receive was like a high and I needed more of it.This mindset began shaping my personality and work around what I thought people wanted me to be and what I thought they wanted me to create.I thought this was the way I needed to build an audience to be successful.Is this something you may relate to as well?Wouldn’t you like to understand why you are like this so you can evolve into the person you were meant to become?Once I gained some clarity and awareness of this dilemma, I began to understand why and how I could avoid it.I’m to the point where I am solely focused on putting out work that has meaning behind it and understanding this approach will attract the type of audience I desire. If someone isn’t on board with what I’m doing, I can brush them off and narrow my circle. They are not worth my time nor my energy.Today I will be discussing 6 steps towards gaining an audience that matters in relation to not caring what others think. These steps are:

Why We Care
You Can’t Please Everyone
The Power of Listening
Create Your Own Style
Keep Doing You
Show Gratitude

This has been the foundation of any success I’ve had during my tenure as Perspective-Collective. I hope this post will enlighten you to evolve from your current mindset of being a people pleaser.

1. Why We Care

If you feel the need to please people, I truly believe you need to discover the root cause of it.Without understanding, you can’t evolve and make progress.For me, my lust for acceptance and approval stemmed from growing up and getting bullied a lot. I dealt with someone new picking on me each year from Elementary to Middle School and I just put up with it. I felt I deserved it.When I made it to high school, freshman year was pretty rough as all of my friends went to the other inter-city high school. The kids here were ruthless and mean as most of them came from wealthy families and never dealt with adversity.At the end of freshman year, and all within a week, I started lifting weights, shaved my head, got contacts and lost the braces.I remember looking in the mirror and asking myself, “Who is this person?”Over the summer, I had transformed into the new kid who was actually good at sports. The same kids who picked on me were the ones inviting me to hang out in their circle. Not to mention that girls were actually talking to me…..And so it started, the beginning of the affirmation curse. It was something I had never experienced before and it had me acting different around people as I longed for their acceptance.How could I get more of it?In college, I started to share my artwork that I was once self-conscious about via Facebook through the persuasion of a friend. It slowly gained more exposure and people began to take notice of me as an artist for the first time in my life over being an athlete.A new world of affirmation overwhelmed me. This was seriously a feeling I could get used to as I’ve never had people care about what I created. It was a high and I was addicted.I thought as long as I was acting a certain way and creating a certain style of art that everyone would like me. I felt like I discovered a secret formula.This was far from the truth.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone

One of life’s biggest lessons is understanding that you can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to agree with what you do and who you are as a person.If you are like me this could be a hard pill to swallow.How was I able to accept the fact that I didn’t need everyone’s acceptance?I grew aware of my dilemma by consuming self-help material that focused on personal development as well as creative entrepreneurship.I stumbled across the likes of Zig Ziglar, Seth Godin, Michael Hyatt, Stephen Covey, Sean McCabe and Gary Vaynerchuk. There are plenty of others, but these were the essentials of my re-awakening.When you devour self-help content with an open mind, you are able to absorb it and gain perspective on how you are living your life. You realize the changes you need to make to get to where you want to be and you formulate a plan of action to attain the vision that you’ve set for yourself.It dawned on me that not everyone is going to like me nor like what I create. It is something that is completely out of my control.We have a choice in how we respond to the things we can or can’t control. I thought I could control what people thought of me by changing my personality in certain social settings or creating styles of work that I thought would attract an ideal audience.However, what I could control is being myself every minute of the day and the kind of work I created. I can also control the way I listen to people.

3. The Power of Listening

A valuable tip I have learned from consuming self-help is the ability to be a good listener.A good listener has the ability to show compassion and understanding for fellow humanity. Making people know that you are hearing them out completely and taking time to soak up what they have to say is a powerful tool.When building an audience, I find it essential to listen to what my current audience has to say. Even if my audience had 2 people in it, those two people are more important than 100 people who just scroll through my page and drop a like and continue on with their business.To interact with my audience, I ask questions on what they are struggling with so I can better serve their needs instead of just ranting off the top of my head about useless topics.My goal is to provide value and insight from my struggles and personal experiences. I try to put out content that shows I’m listening by what I would do if I was in there shoes or had already experienced their issues.It’s all about changing your perspective.However, there are people out there you shouldn’t be listening to.Not everyone in the world will want to hear what you have to say and they will try to break you down because:

They don’t agree with you
They want what you have and don’t know how to get it

It’s true, not everyone wants to see you succeed and sometimes these people are the ones speaking the loudest who want you to listen to them the most.Disregard the garbage and focus on the people who are trying to reach you in your audience that have valid questions and feedback.They are the ones who will provide you with endless topics and content that you can tap into while still delivering your unique style.Be a good listener but don’t ever let your audience dictate the style on how you deliver your content.

4. Create Your Own Style

I’m a strong advocate of listening to your audience and delivering content based on their needs, however I’m strongly against modifying your originality and style towards someone else’s requests.The people who are currently a part of your audience are there because of the style you are curating!Focusing on creating what someone else will like is the definition of client work. This is the main reason I’ve taken a hiatus from client work so I can focus on the work that matters most to me.I put all my energy into doing the kind of work that I have a passion for while it still is helping others at the same time. The styles and mediums I choose fit the message I’m trying to deliver, and no one’s opinion will change that.Too many times I have seen people make posts asking what style do people like the best and want to see more of? If I could reach through my device and kindly knock some sense into them I would.What could possibly make you think that is a good idea?!You know what style of work is resonating the most and you know deep inside what you prefer to create.It’s sad that most people will stray from what they enjoy the most so they can cater their style of work to others taste.

99% of the world are consumers. You and I are the 1%.We are the creators. We create because there is something internally within us that gives us the means to express ourselves. What we create is a reflection of who we are as a person so letting others dictate your style is disgraceful to your gift.

Stop worrying what other people may like. The more you pour your heart and soul into creating something of value that is genuine to who you are and of your original style, the more an audience will gravitate towards you.People are attracted to those who know what they want and create and speak with conviction. People want to side with those who are creating something of value to the world. They want to join someone who is part of the solution and not the problem.

5. Keep Doing You

So how do you attract the right audience?You attract the right audience by focusing on putting out work that resonates with you. Create something of value and people are bound to connect with it because of the passion and authenticity you put behind your work and message.Stay true to who you are and what you believe in.Building a life on principles and values will influence your decision making that best suits your personal growth. This will lead you down the road of success and will slowly lead to gaining the right people within your circle of influence.Trying to create what others like will result in a diverse range of styles that aren’t authentic and genuine to who you are. You lose the essence of why you create and your art will lack a purpose and sense of direction.The moment I stopped acting like someone I wasn’t and stopped creating art I thought others would like was the moment that I started to make true progress.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” - Dr. Suess

It’s been a slow process but being aware of the issue and taking action has been the key to my growth.Take pride in what you create and make sure you’re in a constant state of gratitude.

6. Show Gratitude

I’m going to keep this segment short as I’d like to discuss this more in depth in a future post.Something that pairs great with listening is being in a state of gratitude. Yes, you may be a hustler and work hard to get where you want to be, but there are so many people out there that are helping you succeed and supporting you whether you know it or not.It is important to let people know how thankful you are for their support.I’m naturally wired to tell people thank you as I’ve learned good manners from my parents. Yet I’m inclined to go the extra mile to really let people know that I’m very appreciate of any ounce of support they’ve shown me.As your audience grows, you will have people engaging with you by giving you praise, feedback or asking questions.You need to make sure to reply to everyone and tell them how thankful you are that they care enough to interact with you and what you are creating. These people are the oxygen to the life of your creative existenceShowing gratitude is an important aspect of making your fellow humanity feel like they are worthwhile and what they say matters to you.

Making Sense of it All

Listening combined with gratitude will help you grow exponentially as you continue to deliver value from a unique perspective. Once you realize you can’t please everyone but can control the type of audience you want to attract, you will unlock the key to creating the future lifestyle you envision.

Key Takeaways

Discover the root cause of why you care what others think
Devouring self-help content will help you gain perspective on your life
Control what you can control, you can’t please everyone
Listening to your audience provides an endless source of content
Never modify your style of delivery to please someone’s request
Stay true to who you are
Show gratitude towards everyone who supports you

As you steadily build the right audience, you will eventually deal with jealousy as you become envious of seeing others accomplishing what you wish to accomplish. The next post I make will discuss “How I Deal with Jealousy” and follow that up with “Being in a State of Gratitude.”There will not be a post next week as I will be leaving the country with Emily for my honeymoon. This will be an 8 day sabbatical where I will be unplugging from social media and my work routine to soak up a much needed getaway with her. I have hustled everyday for a little over 2 years and and need to recharge the batteries, but I’ll still have a sketchbook with me. :)As I say this, I would like to leave you with your homework.If you were to walk away from reading this, the one thing I want you to legitimately ask yourself is:“Why do you care what others think?”Spending each day putting on a front and catering to others opinions will never get you to where you want to be in life. Believe me, I've been there and wasted a lot of time and energy.How badly do you even want to get to where you want to be? Do you want to be in the client mode mentality for your personal work and solely focus on pleasing others?Figuring out the source will be your blue print towards building a foundation that will attract the right audience. An audience that matters.Do you really want to spend your life worrying about the opinions of sheep?I don’t and I don’t believe you do either.-If you have found value in this post, you can share this or join my weekly newsletter. Many of you may have questions or something specific you would like me to address, please feel free to email me directly as I’d love to hear from you so I can continue to deliver you valuable content that can help inspire action in your life.

audiencebuildingcaringkeyothersstopthink

Scotty Russell